Dear Friend,

There is a certain decorum that we observe when we go to Church. We don't throw a frisbee in the vestibule, nor do we shout to a friend that we notice on the other side of the aisle. We dress in a respectful manner. And, even if we are so happy that we feel like breaking into a dance, we restrain ourselves. Why? Because we realize that we are in a sacred place.

A sacred place, such as the parish church, has been dedicated - set aside both for a special use (worship) and to honor a particular person (God - especially the Second Person of the Trinity, Jesus).

A Catholic cemetery is a sacred place. In Church law, a cemetery is set aside like a church, as a place of special use and honor of a particular person. The special use is the burial of the faithful departed - people who in life held the breath of God and were made members of His family through Baptism. The special person? Well, there are several special people. First, the individuals interred there are honored and, by extension, the Holy Spirit who made a home in each of those bodies in life.

Since the Catholic cemetery is a sacred place, we observe a certain decorum when we visit. Cemetery rules and regulations are in place to insure that decorum. For example, to foster an atmosphere of prayer there should be no inappropriate behavior. The Cemetery is not a place for loud music, parties, drinking of alcoholic beverages or family cookouts. Burial spaces should not be disturbed. Removing decorations or taking flowers from another's grave is most inappropriate. If individuals or families witness the removal of decorations or are missing arrangements, they should advise the Cemetery's management immediately.

When people gather at a church, some individual and group expressions are acceptable. So, not everyone dresses the same and there are other variations. One Mass might be in Spanish, while another is in Vietnamese or English. Guitars may accompany the singing or it may be an organ, or perhaps, no music at all. There is recognition that, within certain limits, people should express some individuality or ethnic differences.

Again, the situation is the same at the cemetery. Rules and regulations are made both to allow some individuality or cultural expression while also setting limits. So, you can have a mariachi band at a committal. You can express some variation in memorialization. Some choose cremation,some ground burial and others choose mausoleum entombment.

But there are limits that help maintain good order and decorum. These include: All flowers used on graves must be in a regulation vase. Decorations not in these vases will be removed, and disposed of by cemetery personnel. During designated holidays, such as Valentine's Day, Easter, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Memorial Day, All Souls Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas, the Cemeteries allow families to place additional decorations on the grave provided they do not infringe on neighboring graves or the cemetery as a whole.

Balloons, chimes, metal decorations, pinwheels, picket fences, loose objects and food are some of the items never allowed in the cemetery. Managers have been instructed to remove these items immediately, since they are a potential danger to the maintenance crews and visitors during daily lawn maintenance. Because of the number of graves, it is not cost effective or feasible that these items be removed by maintenance crews and replaced every time the lawn is serviced.

In summary. Catholic Cemeteries appreciates and wants families to visit the graves of their loved ones and friends. These occasions help heal wounds of loss and bring together family and community. However, the cemetery is a place for prayer and quiet reflection - a sacred place. As each of us expects others to show respect for our personal grieving, and to the burial location of our loved ones, we must be ready to reciprocate this reverence to others.

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Gary Brown
Executive Director
Catholic Cemeteries