Help For the Holidays

There is nothing more unsettling for grieving families than their first awareness of the holiday season without a deceased loved one.  "It can't be!"  "How can we handle the world's rejoicing when we are still enveloped in our shroud of sorrow?"  Their pain of loss may be too sharp to distract them by the sound of jingle bells and ho-ho-ho's.

This is not an unfamiliar lament.  Can the pain be assuaged?  Fortunately, it can with effort and the will to be whole again.  Reaching into one's memory chest may be unnerving, but ever so rewarding.  Young children often demonstrate the capacity to override the anguish of their loss and in their unique way reach out to older members sharing fun-filled anecdotes of happier holidays.

If religious services hold value for the bereaved, they may find it easier to worship at a different time than usual or change to a different place where they are not as well know, keeping in mind their lack of emotional energy an need to nourish one's spiritual dimension.

However it is that you celebrate the Christmas holidays, be patient with yourself.  Recognize that tears can be healing and hold your heart open to the possibilities of the season.